Stereotypes Myths and Fears

There are all sorts of stereotypes that plague our society on the basis of fear. These fear induced stereotypes come from a lack of understanding, a lack of education, and overall from a lack of empathy for our fellow mankind. No one understands this more than people who are attracted to what society deems as “minors”.

Today we are going to share some of the most commonly known stereotypes, some of which affect many people that are not in any way attracted to minors, while others that are absolutely exclusive to those attracted to minors which burden their lives and the troubles they must face.

Age Gaps

The most abused and overused stereotype is incorrectly labelling all people who have a large age gap in their relationships as pedophiles. This one happens all the time in the UK and the US, but is less prevalent in other parts of the world. Not everyone abuses these labels but enough do that it is worthy of mention. As an example imagine an 70 year old male being in a relationship with a 23 year old female.

There is always someone who will say that the male is a pedophile and say how “sick” the male is and how “disgusting” it is. Some will even try to say the male must have been molesting girls when we was younger but probably can’t get access to them anymore.

This not only is offense to the couple but it creates a huge burden on those who are genuinely attracted to minors and casts doubts in many as to whether they are a minor attracted person or not.

Age play is pedophilia

Sexual roll playing is something countless millions and millions of people engage in. However if that roll playing involves one partner pretending they are a child, people label the roll playing as pedophilia. It doesn’t seem to matter that there are two consenting adults engaging in the roll play. It also doesn’t matter whether one person is attracted to acting like a child.

The person who takes on the adult roll in the roll playing scene, is thought by most of society to be a “sick” pedophile who wants to engage with children. Realistically there are many reasons people roll play and its not always the “adult” in the roll playing that is seeking the engagement. Often times the “child” of the roll playing scene is the one who wishes to engage and the “adult” partner engages because it is something their partner desires.

There is actually an entire subculture of BDSM known as “Daddy Doms” and “Little Girls” who often have to deal with the astigmatism of the pedophile label for their roll playing lifestyle.

This is not at all pedophilia nor is it related to pedophilia. There is no evidence to justify such a label and people who engage in this activity are usually not at all attracted to children in any way. Rather they are attracted to an idea of power control and acting like a child to escape the responsibility of being an adult or acting like the “person in charge” in a sexual relationship.

Hebaphiles and Pedophiles are the same thing

The truth is almost everyone is a hebaphile, though most will never admit this do to society merging the two terminologies. A hebaphile is a person who is attracted to a teenager who is under the age of 16 and still going through puberty.

There are boys and girls alike that by the age of 14 and 15 have the appearance of someone who is 20 or more, even though they are going through puberty.

Both men and women at times have found attraction in young teenagers and then been “applauded” with themselves to learn the age of the teenage. The only explanation for this is that society is what tells them its wrong, not any sort of biology.

All people attracted to minors are bisexual child molesters

This is one that seems to be universally believed in all countries. A person being attracted is claimed by mass amounts of people to be a child molest, or they are told they will at some point molest a child.

The truth is being attracted to a minor does not make them a child molester and it does not mean they will become a child molester at some point in the future. The stereotype that all people attracted to minors will at some point being a criminal has been proven false many times but people were raised to believe its true and therefore reject and claim of evidence contrary.

Equally it is fear that causes people to believe everyone attracted to a minor is bisexual – and this is worse for offenders than non-offenders. If someone is a 22 year old male and has a sexual relationship with a 15 year old girl, that does mean that they will suddenly start going our and having relationships with 15 year old boys also.

Equally if someone is a pedophile attracted to girls, that doesn’t mean they are attracted to boys. If someone is attracted to boys, that doesn’t mean they are attracted to girls.

Laws in most countries do not distinguish between this and they are written in such a way that if a person has committed an offence with one minor, they will commit and offense with all minors regardless of biological gender.

People attracted to minors are attracted to all minors

This is another belief that laws tend to claim but is not substantiated by any valid proof.

Just because someone is attracted to minors does not mean they are attracted to all minors. Just like someone who is homosexual is not attracted to every person of the same gender and someone who is straight is not attracted to every person of the opposite gender – someone attracted to minors is not attracted to every minor.

People attracted to minors have sexual attractions just like everyone else. Some may prefer petite minors, some may prefer rounder faces, some way prefer blondes, some may prefer brunets, there is no absolute attraction to ever single type of person whether they are a minor nor not.

Attraction to a minor is always about power and control

This is absolutely not true. Although people who have an attraction to minors often times also have interest in power control relationships, this is not a universal rule and many people are not seeking to have some sort of power and control over a minor.

There are people who are attracted to minors who feel minors are more open and understanding. These people tend to believe they can be more open and honest with minors where adults would otherwise be more judgmental.

This is not about power, but rather about acceptance and understanding.

There are other people who merely are attracted to minors and have no interest in any sort of dominance over the minor.

This is no different that with people not attracted to minors. Some seek out dominant/submissive relationships and others do not. Sex is not always about force and not everyone is a rapist looking to force themselves on others.

This is a fear based belief relating to a lack of proper understanding about those who are attracted to minors.

Anyone attracted to a minor is also interested in incest

This view is age old and at one time haunted homosexuals by those who thought every homosexual was also a pedophile. They thought given the chance these people would rape their own children, parents, and siblings. Some people still feel this way despite evidence showing that doesn’t happen.

The view still however exists for those attracted to minors. People seem to believe that anyone attracted to a minor will also have sex with their own brothers and sisters as well as their own children. Of course this view is entirely untrue but it is still the belief of many.

As is the case with all of the stereotypes listed here, they stem from a lack of education, a lack of proper studies, and a fear that all people under the age of 18 need protected and sheltered from people over the age of 18.

All abuse requires mental help

The final stereotype that we want to talk about, affects people who were abused more than it affects those attracted to minors.

There is a very harmful view that if someone ever engaged with an “adult” as a “minor” they experienced abuse regardless of how they personally feel about it. Adults and children alike are told they absolutely need to understand abuse took place even if they don’t view it as abuse.

They are told if they could cope with it that they are actually suppressing feelings and need mental help.

Many adults who were perfectly mentally stable have admitted that they were convinced something was wrong with them for not feeling disgust for being abused as a child. They have been convinced abuse occurred in a relationship they never found to be abusive.

People have come out admitting they were more traumatized by treatments than by any act of abuse that may or may not have taken place.

These people are stifled upon admitting such a thing and society is told that is evidence they need mental help, because they were able to cope and move on instead of allow it to consume their life.

This is obviously incredibly harmful to those who did experience abuse, for those who were able to cope with the abuse, and for those who were otherwise engaged in a loving relationship who never saw anything they endured as abuse.


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